A day’s gone by without a post, and you know what that means! Joe was out and about the entire day, tra-la-la-la-laaa, having an adventure, hopefully seeing a movie until after midnight. Well, sadly, that’s not the case right now. What I will do for you is update you tomorrow morning on the exciting trip I had in Niagara Falls then … do … something, cos Saturday is something and yes. I’ll even leave this introductory text here and just put a big word saying UPDATE in bold type underneath it so you know I’m not cheating, I just actually sucked at this today.

UPDATE: Okay, so, basically what happened was.

Yesterday was the date of the Society of Off-Campus Students trip to Niagara Falls, just about an hour away from where we live in Hamilton. And it was goshdarn delightful, I tell you what! We set out on the schoolbus packed with engineering students and other rowdy types and my girlfriend, accustomed and hardened as she is to loud noises and large crowds, could barely utter a word for the first half hour of the trip. She was just staring into the space in front of her eyes like a Vietnam vet, seemingly traumatized into silence by the fact that it was so loud. She’s great with loud noises and crowds! Absolutely fantastic with them.

In any case, we got the conversational ball rolling about half an hour away from Hamilton on the highway and by the time we were there, we were already discussing what we were going to do. Things we didn’t know that we found out the moment we got off the bus: Niagara Falls has a full-scale, independently operating Build-a-Bear store. It is its own shop on a street, not some room in a mall. So that’s pretty cool! We walked from the hotel where the buses were parked to Clifton Hill, passing a couple haunted houses, an Italian restaurant and the Build-a-Bear on the way. We got to Clifton Hill and immediately headed down to Rainforest Cafe.

For those of you who have been to a Rainforest Cafe, you know that it’s pretty much Disney’s Jungle Cruise restaurant. You get a tour guide, you eat some mid-level to decent food, you enjoy animatronic animals that come to life on the half hours or generally move on the walls surrounding you–and their cocktails are to die for. They have a gift shop out the front door where you can buy themed merchandise and all that jazz. Ailish had steak on a slice of bread with sauteed mushrooms and fries; I had a bacon cheeseburger with BBQ sauce that I still smothered in ketchup, also with fries. Fries are delicious, beef is clean, all good all ’round. Ailish had a daquiri, I a blend of Bailey’s, yogurt and cookie crumbs that was smooth and delicious. After eating, we went on a brief tour of the restaurant, mostly to look at the elephants and gorillas. Sadly, the shark was under renovation.

After that, we went to the Hershey’s store, but still being entirely too full to eat another thing, we went on a fifty minute walk down by the falls. We saw the American falls (those guys got shafted for waterfalls, yo), the Canadian falls (HORSESHOE REPRESENTIN’), the mist inbetween. They still have the Christmas lights up and Christmas songs blaring through the park. Second Christmas, courtesy of Niagara Falls. As we were sat at the horseshoe falls, taking a break from walking, Ailish says to me “You know, if these buildings weren’t here, there wouldn’t be such a huge buildup of mist where we’re standing.”

“You got that from an episode of Daily Planet that aired around eight years ago.”

“How did you know?!”

“I was watching the same one.”

So, after all the sonic rainboom callbacks she could muster, we walked back to the Hershey’s shop for a milkshake that made every other chocolate milkshake I’ve ever tasted a lie. That Hershey’s milkshake costs six dollars and is worth every penny–not only for being gigantic. One cup is two servings of the finest chocolate milkshake I’ve ever tasted. Absolutely perfect. Which is why I got a Jolly Rancher squishie. Totally worth the purple tongue. Ailish also bought me a one pound peanut butter cup that I’ve yet to start eating because I just brushed my teeth. (It’s about 3:30pm, for those who are confused after I backdate this post.)

On our way back up the street, we made our last stop that we’d promised to make and visited the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Odditorium. And let me tell you, you will never pay this much for a circus sideshow twice, but it was fun and nice in a hokey way. That reminds me, I have to find that girl from YouTube–this redhead who made a couple of tongue videos. Let me tell you, the people in those comments were loudly voicing their sexual satisfaction with these videos, and now it’s at Ripley’s. So that’s… weird. Though I totally believe a multinational corporation would take a video from the internet that had basically no rights protection without asking for permission.

After that, Ailish and I found a bench to sit on near the buses and talked for about an hour. I forget what about, but I know that just being able to talk is one of my favourite parts of the relationship I’m in. Talking. It’s nice. It’s pretty much always nice.

And so that was my evening in Niagara Falls in a nutshell. It was only when we got back to the bus that we realized everyone else had got plastered and gone gambling. Fuck gambling–candy stores, natural wonders and sideshow oddities are far more fun.

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